I don’t hate men but…

I just watched The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It’s good, but watching anything, anything which shows women being victims of sexual violence sets me off.

I think it’s good to speak of such things openly and why I might react coldly to certain things. I have a weakness for revenge fiction such as Kill Bill, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance.

The reason is pretty simple: I’ve been objectified before. I believe every woman has. I have actually experienced forms of sexual harassment (more than once) in the workplace, public spaces, etcetera.

And for most part, I believe Asian society remains quiet (or woefully ignorant) of such issues. A point I raised just now at dinner was the case of a girl being groped at Zoukout 2010 (I think).

While the issue itself was disturbing, the comments surrounding it were even more so. Many men seemed to think she “deserved” it, she was a tranny, etc. I believe it’s irrelevant whether she was a transexual or not because the issue was clearly the violation of another human being.

I could write a whole essay/rant on this which will no doubt scare away many men (oh, what’s new) but I shall refrain from doing so because I believe I am scary/intimidating enough.

I’d rather be single forever than to submit to any man who believes it’s all right to violate another human being based on how they act or dress.

I’d rather be single forever than to marry a man who judges a girl for not being a virgin, but sleep around themselves (yes such men do STILL exist).

I’d rather be single forever than to be judged as loose just because I drink (sensibly) or because of the way I look.

P.S. Sorry this really makes me angry, any disrespectful comments for this post will hence not be tolerated. Also, I think I’m a rather feminine, straight woman which is why apparently it’s shocking I care so much and raise such issues on a regular basis (for those with simple minds at least).

Resolutions for the New Year and beyond :)

In the true spirit of procrastination, I am posting this up only now.

1) Love others but love myself more.

It’s really true that you have to take care of yourself first before looking after others. Only then can there be a good balance and you can maximize your potential

2) Surround myself with more good friends:

There are great friends I’d love to thank so very  much for the past year.

Friend number one: A great listener and always there to tolerate my dramatics and smack me around if I get too silly! Able to be as random as me!

Friend two: Smart, sassy and in total control. Great giver of practical advice, awesome person to just chat about anything with. One of the least judgmental people I know.

Friend three: A completely positive and a person I always feel happier after meeting. Absolutely a comforting and mature presence in my life. Impromptu and knows how to enjoy life to it’s fullest.

Friend four: Makes me laugh even when I’m feeling extremely down, goes the extra mile. Great listener. REALLY REALLY smart, but not condescending. ENJOYS MY CORNY JOKES. (I can’t believe it either).

Friend five: Might appear stoic to most, but shows that she really cares at the right moments (and she knows the right moments.) Funny and random in her own ways.

Friend six: the most recent one I’ve gotten close to. Hilariously random, talented, intelligent, makes me laugh all the time and knows loads of cool stuff and facts. A patient person but can be very bitchy in a good way (i.e. has the wit to pull it off).

(I really should write notes to all of them or organize a giant group hug but I think they would be kinda freaked if they don’t know each other hahaha.)

3) Get a job

Most practical of the list but yes, I’ve rested enough and feel ready to start working. No more room dancing when I start though. (or maybe just slightly less LOL).

4) Treasure my health, look after myself better (and be a tad more vain)

I know some people think I shouldn’t get any more vain than I already am but I don’t starve myself to get there, so think of it as a positive thing hahaha.

5) Pay no attention to those with small thoughts

Most of the time, it can be hard to ignore negativity or narrow-mindedness but it absolutely turns me off. I’m sorry, it’s just one of my pet peeves.

6) Help those in need

There are people who have been ignored and neglected by mainstream society. Was just discussing this with someone the other day and we are both determined to start making a change, tiny or no.

These are my rough guidelines for my lifelong resolutions. What are yours?